Chapter 9

I am so cool. Because I said so. One way to get you out of stress for awhile is to camwhore, and edit your pictures. I would like to learn Adobe Photoshop, as in master in that program. It costs $699. Yes, it is not a typo, not $69.90. All I know is just Paint, and that is how I edit all my pictures using a very limited resource. Using Paint is really a pain.


I am really proud that I have done well in my essay. My professor really likes it and would like to keep a copy of my paper, as she said that "it is one of the best that I have read in a long time." Maybe I should change my major, to journalism.

It is 3am now. I can't sleep. I have been reading/studying for the past 6 hours. I should be sleeping now.

I have a bad feeling for my Thermodynamics. I need to score 70% in the finals to get an A. Khaivenn needs to score just 50% to get an A. I like to compete with him. Because I can't compete with anyone else. There is not many Malaysians around.

I don't want to get a GPA of 3.75 or 3.5. If it is possible, I want to get a 4.0, and $500 rebate for my apartment rent.

I need to study like a mad cow. like a typical Malaysian.

I need to stop using my laptop. So, I will be giving my laptop to Jackie for the next 2 weeks. Finals end at 14th May, and I shall go to eat some Malaysian food in Oklahoma City.

Char Keow Tiao $8 only. Roti Canai $4.

it will be just Mat and I living in this same apartment for the whole Summer.

Chapter 8

It was a bad Saturday, but it is a very good Sunday. Overall, it balanced out my weekend.

The sky was bright, the air was fresh, and the sun was glaring through my windows. I was still well asleep until 7.30am when Fangkai replied my text which I sent the night before. That bugs me a little bit but I decided to sleep more, planned to wake up at 8.30am. 4 hours of sleep in total, logged on to Sopcast and 2 minutes later, it was 2-0 for Chelsea. Get changed and ready for church! What a great day to start off with!


Great game. 1 more game left for the season. And based on my studies on the statistics, Wigan having to be the 3rd Most Conceded team, 5th Least Goals Scoring team, and winning only 3 away games this season, it tells me that Chelsea is going to win the league in Stamford Bridge. I'm so going to dance like Peter Crouch.

Had lunch at Cafe Plaid after church. I have always stress on the importance of networking and socializing with other people. Joined a conversation with 3 of my friends, who is the new elected UOSA president, new elected IAC vice-president, and ex-UOSA&IAC president. UOSA is a student body which overlooks the whole student organizations of OU; IAC is a student body which is under UOSA, that overlooks all the international student society. I'm so blessed that I get to meet these people which can help me along the way in growing. I learned a lot from each and everyone of them. I guess this would be a smart move, instead of staying at home and watch PPS everyday. Yes, I like being cynical and sarcastic sometimes. And NO, kuahkayee, it is not you, even though you stay at home and watch PPS everyday as well. :p

1 more week till finals exam. Dead week. While some other schools have already done with finals. My hope of getting a 4.0 is fading away. All I can do is just study harder, and pray for miracles. Open-book tests are hard, however. I hate being a perfectionist, or typical Malaysian student with the "kiasu" spirit.

Also, I do not know what to feel when many people make my picture as their profile picture. Do they like how they look in the picture? Or do they like what I've taken? My friend once told me that photography is an expensive hobby. I agree. I have to work a little bit more and earn some extra cash. But I am proud of some shots that I have taken so far.

study study study, that's what my housemate always tells me.

Chapter 7

I was working on my English paper and suddenly there is something that came into my mind that I need to write it down.

I am not sure whether this will help somebody, but I have the urge of writing this down.

People will always ask, where is God? Prove God!

If it is proven that God exists, will you just believe it?

Being here in the States alone, without God, I am nothing. I am not being more Holy, or more religious. But I have realized that I have been around God for most of the time, and it is the time to be with God.

I have a friend who told me that being a Science student, we should not believe in God. I personally think that being a Science student, it is not wrong to believe in God.

Many people might be curious about Christianity, and the whole deal of relationship with God. And science students mostly believe in evolution- that we are not created by God- or do not really think about religion because it comes to no conclusion.

Below is a 6 minute video that could make you re-think about the theory of evolution. I would be much more appreciated if you watch it. It might not be convincing enough but I know this will help somebody with curiosity out there. Please do not scroll down if you have not watch the video because it contains spoiler.

The first thing that came into my mind was, "WOW! That is amazing!"

And without laminin, we are all gone. All living things, gone. God creates all things. This is what I believe. And we always say that He will take care of us and look after us. What science says about that? I am not sure. But I know that NASA Hubble Space Telescope has taken this image, which is 1100 light-years ahead of us,

and named it Hubble M51 Cross.

What did you see in the picture?

I see a cross, or, Jesus opens up His arms.

The Bible, written 2000+ years ago, says this,

"At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky .... " -Matthew 24:30

Yes, Bible is just a history book, which is full of stories. But it is also the word of God. Everything it says is for the past, the present, and the future.

Faith is faith. It does not need a logical proof.

It freaks me out more because the more I seek for God, the more He shows me His presence.

it is winter right now in Norman, because it is very cold.

Chapter 6

2 more weeks to final exams!

Excited that Summer is coming. Going to Missouri for a conference, LA trip with friends, and gonna force Laura to drive me to Texas! Also pool party! and my 21st birthday party bash! and World Cup with American friends. Sounds awesome eh?

Time to snap more pictures. My relationship with my camera has been pretty good lately. Certainly need additional lens to make my pictures look better! Do I think I take nice pictures? Not really. But somehow my friends do like my pictures. I am a perfectionist and I expect a lot from myself. High expectation, pros and cons in a way and another.

Thank God for all the great things that happened this week. Even though it has been tough for the past week but His goodness surrounds me all the time. It doesn't mean that you have God, you will have a good life. But definitely when you need somebody to comfort, God is there. Friends will be there to try their best in comforting you. I talked to friends but still it can't satisfy me, there will still be the emptiness inside of me. It is hard to explain the love of God. You can't see it, but you can definitely feel it. It's so amazing, wonderful, no word could really describe it.

This week, I thank God for:

- (Saturday) Letting me involve in a drama production by the African Christian Fellowship, and getting to know more people. It is my first time to perform on stage, memorizing scripts and it was fun!

Jackie's babies

- (All week) Strength to work for days, having free lunch and dinner during working hours, and earning a total of $207. I am so gonna use it to satisfy myself!

- (Tuesday) Water Baptized in the pool!


- (Wednesday) Decision in taking Spanish Lesson. Another language to be added in your resume will not look bad though: "English, Mandarin, Bahasa, Hakka, Cantonese, Spanish." Maybe Russian will be the next choice, and I can conquer the world!

- (Wednesday) Pass my LTC class, and the interview for leading a lifegroup next year! That'd be awesome!

- (Thursday) Picnic at duck pond! I am afraid of ducks, because it reminds me of bird flu.

You gotta love this girl! Always listen to my endless complaints

- (Friday) LTC retreat at Turner Falls, it has been fun, getting to know more people. Bonding session with everyone in OUXA is a good thing.

The lovely Jackie :)

- (Friday) Elected as the Secretary of MSA for Fall/Spring 2011. Was glad in a way that I was not elected as President though. Since I will be leading lifegroup, I don't think I have the time to run events.

- (Friday) In the final stage of getting my Lab Research Assistant for Summer. Been approved by both Professor and Research Associate. Will be discussing the working hours and some further information next week. Really thank God for that.

- (Everyday) Thank God for His comfort, and telling me that even everything falls apart, or even everything is against me, He will be there to hold me. That is awesome! There is no love as true as this.

currently writing on "Same Sex Marriage", 9 pages.

Chapter 5

Things have been pretty tough for me this week. But I'm glad that it is over now. How funny is it that I failed my first paper- Thermodynamics- where I actually scored my first 100 tor the same subject two weeks ago.

Anyways,

I know this is going to be hard for you. But I'm sorry that I can't be the prince that holds you and brings you to the castle anymore. I just hope that this is going to be good for both of us. You know I will miss you. Thanks for all the wonderful things that happened in the past 3 years. Indeed, you are the best thing that has happened to me. I'm glad that we have grown up together and take this the mature way. I love you. And believe me, it takes time to heal the wound. I am hurting as much as you do.

Tons of wet tissue papers scattered all over this messy room. Aren't you glad that tears are odorless and colorless? I wouldn't want my room to smell like a dump site.

Chapter 4

I screwed up my test yesterday. It was hard. I just don't like English Unit, and the conversion ratio.

Apart from that, I am having a good week though. I worked, and washed dishes. Tons of them. I don't feel like working, but for the sake of money, I have to do it. Not that I am broke, but it's just the feeling of getting something from the money that I earn myself. Ah. The pleasure of buying stuffs. Onitzuka Tiger, here I come. Not forgetting bout the Canon 50mm f1.8 II lens. Just this one more week, I promise myself, and I am so gonna shop. Online shopping. I can't wait to get these few hundred bucks and spend it all. I mean, some.

I am so blessed that I can always get what I wanted to do. I mean, I am currently running for the presidential seat of Malaysian Student Association. I think I am most likely getting it. You know why? There is less than 15 Malaysians around, and I guess I have the best resume?

Also I will be performing on stage for Praise Night! I never acted in my life before. And I hope that I can do good, not forgetting the lines that I am supposed to say.

And internship. I know I stand a big chance of getting it. All I have to do is wait for a week, and pray.

I have a friend who once asked me about God. He thought that God is always up there, not interfering our lives as humans. That is wrong. I mean, for me, religion is more like a relationship with God thing. He is always up to date with your life. Being here all alone, He is my father and my friend that listens to me all the time.

Guess this is the first time in my life, that I can really recognize Him. His voice. And that feels so good. Like real good. I can't describe the feeling but it's just very good.

One more month till Summer. I won't be afraid of boredom. I am gonna learn Spanish and practice with my friends, and my housemate. Sounds cool.

Chapter 3

Say bye bye to my LX3. He shall be hibernating in my drawer for the rest of the Spring. I will be using him again during the Summer. Since I will be staying here for the whole summer, I shall have a Summer Project: My Campus!

Miracles of the week:

1) I bought an awesome shirt for just $7 from Walmart!

2)I scored 100 in my Thermodynamics midterm exam. I was SO shocked. Mainly because I thought I would get a question wrong. Somehow I did it correctly.

But there's a catch. When I got back my paper, I found out that some parts of my paper was mark wrongly. I was supposed to get 96 but my TA missed it. If you were me, what are you going to do? Keep quiet and get that 100?

This is not the way I want. If I really deserve 100, I want to get it all correct. And "honesty" is a code of ethic for engineering. So I talked to the TA, and after he looked at my paper, he just let me through and said it was OK as I got those "1+1=2" question wrong whereas other students got those harder questions wrong.

And guess what? I was still 100. 1 of the 6 students who got 100. I take this as an assurance from God. There was once I am so afraid that if I spend more time with God, my studies would be affected. But this year I take a step forward, attended activities which draw me closer to God. The night before my midterm exam I was in a student worship session till 11pm. I studied 30 min and slept. And surprisingly I did so much more better in tests. You can't say that it is easy. Well, it's university level though.

I got 100.

I'm not saying that I will be getting more 100 from now onwards. But this is how God "answers" prayers through different ways. He will be there to guide you and see you through. He is a faithful God.

Also, I'm happy for my friend who no longer feels sad because she will be getting what she wants soon.

A tough week ahead. I am sure there will be more miracles this week!

"There is nothing you can do to make God loves you more; there is nothing you do to make God loves you less; God just love you for the way you are." - Pastor Buck.