Chapter 21

I realized that when you put God as the top priority in your life, things could be so different. You live a different life, a crazy life, and an awesome life.

You used to fix everything by yourself, with your own abilities, but the outcome will always be a) you get what you want, but you have to work so hard for it, or, b) you fail.

So, a boy is always bullied by his schoolmates. Wounded, bruised, and cuts. He tries to fight back but he always fails because he doesn't have the strength to do so. One day, his dad finds out what happens, and he decided to go to school with him. The bullies are up for it again, but it's a different story now. When they see the father, they are afraid and they run away. The boy is so happy, and his dad gives him a big hug, saying, "No matter what happens, I will always be here with you. I will protect you and love you, because I am your father. I love you."

No, I am not the boy. But I have a God that loves me so much and fills me with joy. He is more than just a God. He is a father, a friend, a comforter, a protector, that loves you and wants a relationship with you. I am not trying to be religious, or holy, I just want to share my joy with my friends. I am hurt, when my friends are hurt. All I can do, is just a simple prayer for all of them.

Jesus says, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)

It's not that I don't have a problem in my life. But when you know that God is with you all the time, nothing seems too big for you anymore, 'cos God is so much more bigger than you think He is. He was there with me back in Malaysia, and definitely He is here with me in the States.

Being here for just 5 months and 17 days, God has done so much in my life. You may say that it's just coincidences. But there's just too many coincidences. I don't need to see God to believe in God. I believe in God to see Him. If all of us were assigned to write a book about our lives for the past 5 months and 17 days, what would you write? Believe me, I could write so much, not because I'm awesome, but God has done some of the most wonderful things in my life.

Chapter 20

this is a radar for the plane

Every week is a busy week for me. Thank God for being so awesome to me! The other day I just went for this Air Force Show in Tinker Air Force Base, and it was cool to the max! It's something that you don't get to see in anywhere but America.

This is my awesome brother Andrew Lee

So, I will be having Spanish test tomorrow. I don't think I want to worry so much anymore. Just gonna run on the treadmill and swim, then study Spanish. espanol espanol! examenes examenes!! me no gustan examenes!

Will be meeting at least 4 awesome people this week. Before going for the 10 hours driver education course on Saturday. And I have an awesome plan for a birthday party! It's gonna be so cool.

Chapter 19

As I get to know more people, and talk to more people, I find that life is indeed miserable at times. Everybody has their own problems. I would love to help. There is nothing more than just a prayer. I could only pray to God, that all of them will find joy.

Joy is different than happiness. Happiness, just that instant moment of emotion where it doesn't last long. Joy, from God's love, last forever. I have joy in the love of God. I am so blessed to have some of the most awesome people in my life here.

People complains about suffering, and that life is unfair, bad things happened to good people. I dare to say that this is not from God.

John 10:10 says "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

I am so desperate to see everyone rejoices in the love of God. Everyone has their stories, their encounters with God, in different ways, and all stories are unique. I have my story, and I am living in the story that continues to write about the glory and goodness of God.

I am so hurt, that my friends are having tough times, sick, and all sorts of things going on in their lives. I want to help, 'cos I know that it will be hard for them to fix the problems themselves.

sigh.

and I miss my Malaysians friends. People like kuahkayee and yannhuoy, and fangkai and kahwei, 'cos we always do stupid things together.

Chapter 18

I'm so crazy about Jesus right now.

If God is a girl, I would marry God right now. That's a metaphor.

I'm wondering why is my life so blessed. I mean, bad things do happened though. But when I think about the goodness of God in my life, I can totally ignore the bad things.

So, when the focus is not on myself, but rather of God, everything turns out to be good, and awesome.

I just want to love everyone, like how Jesus loves me.

Please allow me to serve you.

Chapter 17

I did an amazing thing just now.

A sense of accomplishment.

I was in the pool with Mat for the past 2 hours.

Figure out how to float and just look at the stars.

I couldn't do it a couple days ago.

Couldn't do it just now either.

So I went extreme, and try to swim.

You know what? I can swim now! Like seriously, holding breath and swim under water. Well, I still need to improve on my legs though. It was really scary at first, but I thought that 4 feet of water couldn't kill me, so I decided to have a go.

And swimming is my new addiction now. It is actually fun. Been swimming for 2 hours. I have to do it more often now!

Thank you Jesus!

-after all, it is not as hard as I thought it would be.

Chapter 16

I am so confident right now. I always say that I'm awesome, that is good in a way, not being arrogant, but I think it is time to be confident and do what I'm supposed to do.

Hang out with Brynn the other day and I had to be her victim this time. She's having a photography class and I had to be the victim. I'm so not used to it, because I love being behind the lens. Probably the fact that I'm having chubby cheeks makes me feel uncomfortable. Dang it.

I realized that I have improved in taking picture. I am not going into professional and I just like it this way. Everyone likes my pictures. Yay! That gives me lotsa confidence.



So I was thinking deep. Like a philosopher. I still couldn't understand how can people believe in the theory of evolution. Also, the big bang theory. Oh God, I pray for them that their eyes would not be blinded anymore, be opened! in the name of Jesus, Amen.

You have a box of Scramble, and you just pour it all out on the table. What are the chances of getting the word "Scramble"?

I pay more attention to the wonders of nature lately. Looking at the trees, and the high-class squirrels ('cos they study in OU, they drink Starbucks, and they eat nuts). So, they are all created unique and differently. Just like us. Even though we are all similar, but we are all different in a way. I have the rush to gather all the leaves and try to see if there is a pair of leaves that looks exactly the same. Even twins are different.

In my opinion, if the theory of evolution exists, everyone of us will behave the same, and look the same. People always ask about the existence of God. Just look around, it is too perfect for everything to be in place.

What are you reading for this summer? I am currently reading A Praying Life by Paul Miller. I love this particular paragraph because it kinda describes my life right now.

"When you stop trying to control your life and instead allow your anxieties and problems to bring you to God in prayer, you shift from worry to watching. You watch God weave his patterns in the story of your life. Instead of trying to be out front, designing your life, you realize you are in God's drama. As you wait, you begin to see him work, and your life begins to sparkle with wonder. You are learning to trust again."

That is so true. We always try to fix our own problems, try to be an adult, and thought everything would be ok. Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) And when you lay it all out for Him, and not to worry so much, everything will turn out fine. I still couldn't believe I made an A for my Thermodynamics. I just prayed and not to think about that much, and everything that came out for the finals were the ones that I read. I only read the examples, and my homework questions. That's all. Amazing.


- she's my bff, my sister, my driver, my leader, and my victim.

Chapter 15

OK. It doesn't really make sense. I mean, the slogan?

Anyway, Christin is my mentor, my teacher, someone that I look up for during my confusion time with my camera. I don't mind getting harsh comments from her, because I could really learn alot from her.

Just a couple days ago, I receive a message from one of the staffs that works for National Chi Alpha. She saw some of the pictures that I've taken during the conference in Missouri, and guess what? She likes it, and she would like to use it for promotional purposes.

The feeling was awesome, and excited. Knowing that somebody recognizes and appreciate your efforts. Many people around me know that I am harsh on myself, and I always look for perfection. I would get annoyed by a small mistake. Everyone likes my pictures and I have receive so much compliments lately. God. That feels good, in a way. hahahaha.

I'm taking Spanish class now. It is not easy but of course I would try my best and start doing homework everyday! It is fun to learn new languages, I might want to learn French someday though. 'Cos I wanna be awesome!

Buenas tardes. Me llamo Emmanuel. Soy de Malaysia. Yo soy un estudiante excelente de la universidad del Oklahoma. Muchas gracias. Te amo. Hasta pronto!

For a moment, I thought summer would be dead boring. But thank God, You have given me so many awesome things to do this summer! woohoo!

Chapter 14

I'm so encouraged these days. Being complimented on some of my works. I mean, pictures. I always strive for excellence, a perfectionist you might say. Those latest pictures of All Nations Conference that I uploaded in Facebook, took me 5 hours to edit and carefully selected through 780 pictures that I took.

I'm so encouraged these days. Being complimented by a friend who is majoring in Film/Video, who tells me about some great shots that I've made. I compared some of our pictures, and there is this common ground/ characteristics about our pictures. I'm getting there! For someone who does not have a proper lesson, it can be considered as "not bad."


I'm so encouraged these days. While I was reading a newsletter from Digital Photography School, it says, "Sun shining through trees makes for fabulous bokeh. Place your subject in an area where the sun isn’t hitting them, open up your aperture and zoom in."

This is the photo sample. (Courtesy of DPS)


By looking at it, I realized that there is this particular shot that I took looks similar.


I always think about what good would it be, for me to be so interested in photography/film. I am not going into any of these professions. Just recently, I found out why am I gifted with such a skill. I dare not to say "talent" because it's really just a "skill."


People always thought that I'm majoring in photography, or asked questions like "are you a photographer or something?"


er.. No. I'm not. That's just my hobby?


Anyway, I would be serving in my church and work as the tech guy. Kinda. To work things out and maybe up to the point of editing video. That would not be a problem for me. Everything makes sense now. God places me to serve Him in ways that I could not imagine.


That's why I always say, it just doesn't make sense for something to happen. God is in control. It's just like playing The Sims. You're the only one who knows what will happen next to your Sims.


- I'm so blessed. Wow

Chapter 13

Where should I start?

I have no idea. There's just too many things to write about. I can't just summarize the whole thing. Or maybe I should stop talking and go straight to the point. But I can't help it, I like to talk.

Anyway, I got my driving learning permit on the day before I headed to Missouri for All Nations Conference. All I have to do now is to schedule a driving test and I'm done!

Sometimes things just happened and you don't understand why. But now when I look back at all those things, it really did happen for some reasons. We always say that God has a plan for your life, and everything is in God's hand. I used to doubt it, and I was confused. Now I can see the big picture, and everything does make sense after all, and all the small pieces of puzzles are starting to fit together.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

I always believe that God has been taking care of me and being faithful at all times. He takes control of my future. Let's take my current situation as an example: I will be getting a car soon, and obviously I need somebody to be there for opinions/advice.

My housemate, Mathew, does not really have many friends. We would just hang out and sit around the living room all the times. Once in awhile, his friend (Arthur) would come by and hang out with us. Arthur is working part-time in a car workshop, and he knows about cars, has been fixing cars for years. And Arthur lives just one block away from our apartment. Arthur is just one of the few friends that hang out with Mat. Amazingly, both Mat and Arthur is not taking any classes this summer, but they are still staying in town for the whole summer.

You can say that it is just a coincident, for Mat and Arthur being here, and Arthur who works in a workshop being Mat's friend. But there's just too many coincidences, don't you think so? And yes, Arthur has agreed to help me out in searching for the best car deals in town.

I was in Springfield for the past few days. All Nations Conference totally changed my life. There's just this weird thing (in a good way) about Christianity. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. I never understand why do they use the term "brothers and sisters" until I went for this conference. 165 students of 30 nations, from different universities across the States. Even though most of us met each other for the first time, we have so much to talk to, as if it feels like you know this person and have not talk to them in years. It makes me realize that we are not as different as we thought we would be, but in fact, we are all so similar (even though all of us were born in different places).


Springfield is a beautiful place. I think it is a place full of talents, with all the theaters and shows which are located along the street of Branson. Not forgetting the Silver Dollar City, and shopping. I'm a shopaholic, a rational shopaholic. I would only buy a tee which is less than $10.



Like I said, I do not know where to start. Maybe I would just talked about 2 things, out of that X number of awesome things.

#1 God is a funny person.

I used to think that God is a powerful, and authoritative God. I always refer to Him as a father, a fierce father. But when you get closer to Him, you will find more about His personality. He is a funny person, and He does have emotions! Just like us.

So there's this session where I felt so bored, and I'm so not interested with everything. I just tell God that, "this is bored, I need you to touch my heart, 'cos I can't even feel your presence."

I'm that kind of people who always expect something to happen during a service, that I would weep so hard, for His presence is too strong for me to handle.

Guess what? Next day I wept so hard for a session. I felt that God is trying to tell me, "so you want to cry? Here you go..."

That's so funny. HAHAHA

Why do I cry? I felt that there's really a God who listens and know about everything of your life. Every single details of your life. I felt His presence. As you know, I don't like to study Engineering. How God changed my life during these 5 months makes me want to change my major and just to serve Him, concentrate on missions and helping people. But I don't know what should I do, should I stay with whatever that I'm studying, or choose other major? So when the speaker of the night said, "There's some of you guys come to the States to study this major, but something happened and you feel like you don't want to study this anymore..."

That's another coincident?

For me, it's a "no."

#2 God is with you all the time

So there is this morning where I read the Bible and my faith was being tested. Everyone knows that God and Allah is different. Somehow Satan gives me the thought that Muslim and Christians serve the same God.

Book of Genesis (First book of the Bible) tells us that Abraham has 2 sons. Ishmael and Isaac. Jesus Christ is the lineage of Isaac; Muhammad is the lineage of Ishmael (according to Islam). Sarah (Abraham's wife) chase away Ishmael because he mocked God. Ishmael was sent to the Arabic dessert. Abraham was sad, but God tells him that he will make Ishmael a great nation.

I was confused. It's impossible for Ishmael to have a great nation, which means that Islam is in God's plan and we all serve the same God?

I was looking for answers but no one could help me. So I decided to go for the elective workshop and just leave my questions alone. There is a total of 5 workshops and we get to choose whichever that we wanted to. I believe that God will lead me to whatever workshop that He wants. So, there is this particular speaker who was supposed to talk about "The Baptism of Holy Spirit", which I am not interested to go, changed his topic to "The Word" in last minute.

God knows what I'm facing that morning, and obviously the session is for me! Because I was confused in The Word (Bible)! And thank God I found the answers! The Bible also said that,

"He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers." -Genesis 16:12

It makes sense though. And later on it says that they will turn away from God. Do you know how accurate is the Bible in prophecies? The Bible is written way before Jesus Christ was born. As in few thousand years ago, and it predicted that the descendants of Ishmael will be very wild. Islam is one of the newest religion, and the Bible tells us in the first book that "he will live in hostility toward all his brothers." Look at the time line of the Bible and Islam. It does not make sense. How can you write about something that is going to happen in the future?

The Old Testament has 330 prophecies about the Messiah (Jesus Christ). There is a total of 400 years between the Old Testament and the New Testament where no prophets in that time received any dreams/revelation from God. In the first chapter of the New Testament, the birth of Jesus Christ fulfilled all the 330 prophecies. It's not 98% or 99% but 100% of all prophecies being fulfilled. Isn't that amazing? There's not a single religion book/scripture prophesies as accurate as the Bible. In 1948, archeologists found the "Dead Sea Scroll" which contains the Book of Isaiah, and all the 150 Psalms of the Bible, in Hebrew. Then they compared the writings of the scroll with the Bible, and every single words are exactly the same. Which proves that the Bible is not just some people who writes it in the modern time. Book of Isaiah is believed to be written in 8th Century BC, and we are talking about 1948. That reminds me of a Bible verse again:

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." - Matthew 24:35

Many people think that the Bible is just another book. It is a living book, of living hope. You can read it for so many times and every time God will reveal new things through His Words. Truly there is no one like God who loves us so much and cares about our daily lives.

2 of the most important day of your life:
the day you were born;
the day you find out the purpose of your birth.

-I believe to see, walk by faith and not by sight.